Filed under: Are You Kidding?, Introducing, University City District | Tags: marketing, ucd, university city
Just saw an ad for a new marketing scheme courtesy of University City District: University Square .BIZ! Nothing says fine establishment like a .BIZ address. I’d say it’s a good place to go to meet squares.
But their website says…
“Eclectic. Hip. Urban. University Square includes galleries, cultural and recreational venues, and public spaces, as well as funky shops, nationally known stores, bistros, fine dining establishments, and outdoor cafes.”
It’s none of my .BIZness but come on people, hip? urban? Nothing screams YUPPIES like University City.
And it’s time for our daily disclaimer: If you’re looking for info about University City, or restaurants in University City, or perhaps even the Top 10 reasons to go to UPenn, then you’re at the right place. We’ve got all that University City info and more.
Filed under: Introducing | Tags: branding, creep, Gentrification, marketing, sketchy, ucd, university city, upenn, west philly, yellowjackets
This is an investigation of the powers that be in West Philadelphia, PA. West Philly. West Illadelphia. West Philthy. Home of The Roots, KRS-One, Will Smith and Dick Clark. Wait, what? Yes, apparently American Bandstand, the teen whitey show that launched Dick Clark’s career, was filmed in West Philly. Who knew? But the secrets of the land west of the Schuylkill (translation: rushing and roaring waters) go much deeper, and that’s what we’re here for. We are the maniacs digging up the dirt in plain sight. After all, if you were an evil megalomaniacal corporation masquerading as an academic institution, you’d probably want to brag about what you were doing, right? The landed gentry (read: yuppies, liberals, etc) have been encouraged, poked, proddled, and deeply subsidized in order to ensure a University City bubble (aka rich white safety zone) around the family jewels. Now, granted, Philadelphia is sorely lacking in social services, so it makes sense that the corporatocracy (read: University City District) would step in and provide services, like street cleaning, buffing graffiti, de-flyering, 24/7 security forces (read: yellow jacketed Allied Barton employees, 95% of whom are black and paid less than $15/hr), and real estate support services, namely marketing campaigns. More on all of this later, of course, but by now you should be tasting something sickly sweet, or notoriously bitter in your mouth…probably depending on your upbringing and requisite class-consciousness. As the University City District creeps onwards, as theives in the night, venturing further and further westward until Lansdowne is a stone’s throw away, we too must creep into the minds of every single person contemplating buying that gorgeous old house in that sketchy neighborhood that’ll probably turn around in a few years…go forth, multiply, and sow the seeds of dissent and disgust.
end university city
Filed under: Appropriation, Displacement, Gentrification, Race, Real Estate, The Master Plan, UPenn Mortgage | Tags: eviction, expansion, Gentrification, home prices, ucd, university city, upenn, war, west philly
Using the power of the internet, anyone can find this snazzy article about how UPenn is a Zombie Flesh Eating Monster. According to the Philadelphia Business Weekly, the UPenn-subsidized mortgage program was already a smashing success way back in 1998.
“It’s just been overwhelming,” said D-L Wormley, Penn’s managing director of community housing. “It literally is people from every part of the university – professors, the housekeeping department, a vice president, the physical plant. And that’s the thing I’m most thrilled about.”
And what’s good for Penn is good for West Philadelphia’s residents, the banking community there, local construction contractors and neighborhood real estate values.
Part of the new program includes cash for faculty and staff already living in the area bounded by Market Street, 49th Street, Woodland Avenue, University Avenue and the Schuylkill River: Penn is offering up to $7,500 in matching funds toward exterior home improvements.”
Of course by 2004 this program was considered a battle plan against local residents (read: black people.)
“The change in the program is two-fold. First, the geographic boundaries originally set by the program are being extended. The new borders reach out westward to 52nd Street, northward to Haverford Avenue, and eastward and southward to the Schuylkill River. The old boundaries extended only to 49th Street, Market Street and Woodland Avenue in the west, north and south, respectively.
The second alteration of the program consists of a reduction in the maximum size of the loans available to those participating in the program from $15,000 to $7,500.
The forgivable cash loan “can be used for a down payment, to buy down points, or for interior or exterior home improvements,” according to the program’s policy. The loans are forgiven after seven years on the condition that the purchaser remains in residence during that time.”"
Wait, you mean if I own a house for 7 measley years and work for UPenn during that time, I get fifteen thousand dollars for free? That’s right. Doesn’t that mean that there’s some unfair advantage available to UPenn staff?
And of course, there is:
“Penn officials note, however, that it is not their intention to force people from the neighborhood. But, the program gives the Penn-affiliated buyer a clear advantage in the real estate market.
“If two buyers are competing for the same house … the Penn buyer is already $7,500 ahead,” O’Donnell said. “If there is a bidding war, the Penn buyer is going to win.”"
Aye aye, sir! Fire away! Move the negroes out of here! Move in the zombies with cash bonuses that they don’t have to repay!
end the upenn zombie monster parade
